this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
