You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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