when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
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