The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
