she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Randomize
