my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
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