i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
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