What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
