This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
