Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
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I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I just put wine in my tea
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize