That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Randomize
