i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
