i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
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