If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......