I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming