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• (504): View more from Louisiana

  if one more of _____'s family tells me "you're next" i'm going to shoot myself. Thank god for gin (most protestant phrase ever at the most Jewish wedding ever)

  (512): View more from Texas

  Ask for a julep and start talking about how you much prefer the uncircumsized peen. that should probably stop them.

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• (720): View more from Colorado

  Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea

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• (336): View more from North Carolina

  Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll

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• (253): View more from Washington

  When are you comin back?

  (1-253): View more from Washington

  probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons

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  27 Parents Confess Shocking Secrets Their Kids Don’t Know

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• (434): View more from Virginia

  I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth

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• (503): View more from Oregon

  We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding

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• (810): View more from Michigan

  I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire

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• (512): View more from Texas

  Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night

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• (701): View more from North Dakota

  You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.

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  These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever

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• (602): View more from Arizona

  I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.

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• (850): View more from Florida

  I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?

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• (512): View more from Texas

  why am i naked

  (512): View more from Texas

  you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home

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• (419): View more from Ohio

  she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.

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• (781): View more from Massachusetts

  I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering

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• (617): View more from Massachusetts

  My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦🏼‍♀️

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