You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah