Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (248) I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet http://tfl.nu/r3zv
  Replies (4) Good night (1231) Bad night (749)
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  I can text with my tongue

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (716): I can text with my tongue http://tfl.nu/gbw1
  Replies (23) Good night (3214) Bad night (616)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (303): woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night? http://tfl.nu/lo5l
  Replies (19) Good night (5138) Bad night (925)
• Favorite

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (405): so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one http://tfl.nu/mfz0
  Replies (46) Good night (879) Bad night (4959)
• Favorite

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (832): The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went. http://tfl.nu/fpvf
  Replies (16) Good night (6213) Bad night (1102)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (303): those 9 inches of man changed my life forever. http://tfl.nu/b7ob
  Replies (18) Good night (7721) Bad night (851)
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (860): drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy http://tfl.nu/cj1r
  Replies (10) Good night (3399) Bad night (903)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"

  (1-512): View more from Texas

  Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (512): Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??" (1-512): Yeah no more flaming everclear shots. http://tfl.nu/vc2f
  Replies (10) Good night (840) Bad night (1447)
• Favorite

  (801): View more from Utah

  When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (801): When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon. http://tfl.nu/dq5q
  Replies (8) Good night (415) Bad night (1559)
• Favorite

  (415): View more from California

  I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".

  (415): View more from California

  good luck with that

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (415): I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco". (415): good luck with that http://tfl.nu/41gz
  Replies (4) Good night (884) Bad night (939)
• Favorite

  (719): View more from Colorado

  No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (719): No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories http://tfl.nu/o049
  Replies (0) Good night (528) Bad night (690)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  It turns out my teeth are bleeding.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+44): Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become. (+44): It turns out my teeth are bleeding. http://tfl.nu/m4n5
  Replies (4) Good night (507) Bad night (1845)
• Favorite

  (816): View more from Missouri

  Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (816): Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7 http://tfl.nu/lqxi
  Replies (4) Good night (960) Bad night (272)
• Favorite

  (775): View more from Nevada

  You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (775): You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass http://tfl.nu/qd0r
  Replies (5) Good night (569) Bad night (336)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (512): I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds. http://tfl.nu/soup
  Replies (4) Good night (404) Bad night (209)

Randomize