If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
These 21 Drunks Said The Darndest Things
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
These 25 Irresponsible People Blew All Their Cash On Drugs, Booze, & Sex
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time