some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
