The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Randomize
