would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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