I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
