WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Randomize
