I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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