I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
