I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
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I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
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