The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
