bring money and cleavage
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize