wakey wakey hands off snakey
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
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