Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
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