the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
