am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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