roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
