If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize