I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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