I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
