woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
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