508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
