I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
