I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
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