We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Randomize
