He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Please, let me fuck your mom
lets start a swedish sibling band together
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
