you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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