Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
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