did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
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