well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
