eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
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