Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
not ubering you a puppy
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
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