Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
how do you play pong handcuffed?
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
