I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
