he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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