Nicole vs. Life
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
