At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
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