Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
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