When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
