Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
