he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
