his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
