When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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