brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
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