i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Randomize
