yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I wish I only lived at night.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
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