I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
either way he was missing a nipple.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Randomize
