Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Success! We fucked roommates!
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