Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
50% drunk capacity currently
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
