Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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