how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
