fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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