come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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