I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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